(include this part in the engagement procedure)

Engagement

In the past when the marriage proposal was a more formal procedure, the prospective groom sent his friends or members of his family to represent his interests to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant woman during their journey it was thought that the marriage would be doomed if they continued their journey as these sights were thought to be bad omens.

If, however, they saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves these were good omens which would bring good fortune to the marriage.

During Medieval times in Brittany the man proposed by leaving a hawthorn branch at the door of his beloved on the first of May. By leaving the branch at the door she accepted his proposal. She made known her refusal by replacing the hawthorn branch with a cauliflower.

Today, it is done differently. When the couple gets to know each other or the guy thinks that the girl is the right person for him to get married, then he proposes to her. If she says yes, then they start talking about the weddingís date, and everything related to it.

Usually, the brideís family prepares an engagement party to announce the wedding. In this party is where they announce the wedding of the new couple.

 

 

(include the showerís bride and the bachelorís party in the pre-wedding ceremony)

Usually, some days previous to the wedding the bride and groom have their individual party which is held only with women for the bride, and only men for the groom. These parties are called showerís bride and bachelorís party.

Showerís bride

Next in the line is bridal shower, an informal party organized by the bride's family or friends and consists of only women. The shower can be hosted by a close friend of the bride. It is considered improper for a family member of the bride to host because bridal showers are primarily a gift-giving event. However, family members can certainly help. Traditionally, the maid of honor hosts the shower, so if you want to help in planning, be sure to check with the maid of honor first. Commonly the maid of honor is a sister of the bride. In these cases, it has become acceptable in most regions for a family member to host the shower.

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Bachelorís party

Similarly, the groom enjoys the bachelor party, which is hosted by him, the ushers or a friend. It takes place just before the wedding. A marriage between two Catholics is the solemnization of the sacrament of matrimony that the couple administers to each other.

Today, the bachelorís party is celebrated as a symbol of the last chance for the groom to have fun without the bride. According to Emily Post, after a night of hearty drinking the groom and his ushers would traditionally end the bachelor dinner with a toast to the bride's health. Then the men would break the stems so that their glasses "might never serve a less honorable purpose." Today, however, many men are forsaking a bacchanal and enjoying weekends of bonding during such outdoor pursuits as sea kayaking in the San Juan Islands, motorcycling through the Nevada desert, trout fishing in the Alleghenies, or golfing on Florida's Gulf Coast. That's not to say drinking doesn't still play a part at today's bachelor parties ó it's just that, as one recent groom says, "all the men I know now opt not to lose their dignity by getting sick in the rosebushes."

Who's invited: the groomsmen, naturally. Brothers, brothers-in-law, and fathers may or may not be invited, depending on the closeness of the relationship and the appropriateness of the venue. (Does a 60-something-year-old man really want to run through the woods playing combat games with paint?). If the bachelor party is just before the wedding, any good friends who have traveled a great distance can be included, although we recommend holding the bachelor party at least a few weeks before the wedding so the cuts or bruises anyone may have incurred will have had time to heal.

(use bachelor.pjg)

http://www.lifemateexpress.com/cath.htm

 

 

Bridesmaids, best man and ushers

The bridesmaids are select friends and family, who are usually about the same age of the bride. They attend pre-wedding parties and also help out in anyway the bride asks. If she needs anything from picking up candelabras, to setting out place cards--these are the girls to ask. They wear matching or coordinating dresses (usually paid for themselves) to the ceremony and are customarily given a gift by the bride as a token of appreciation.

The best man is often the groom's best friend or a close family member, even Dad. His formalwear matches the ushers' and he pays the rental fees himself. He hosts the bachelor party, holds the ring during the ceremony, and leads the other men in the well-wishing.

Children between the ages of 9 and 14 are best suited for the duties of candlelighters, junior bridesmaids, or junior ushers. These attendants wear coordinating dresses or formalwear. Flower girls are usually family members, or a friend's child between the ages of three and nine, and they carry a small bouquet or basket down the aisle in the ceremony. The ring bearer is often a boy, but the duty can certainly be carried out by a little girl as well. Boys under age four wear an Eton suit or may be dressed in a similar fashion to the ushers. Parents pay for their children's attire when asked to be in a wedding, unless otherwise notified by the bride or groom.

(include this part in the rolesí part)

Groomís family duties

Groom¥s ring; bridesmaid luncheon, the first engagement party; invitations, announcements, enclosures, personal stationery, wedding programs, thank-you notes; bride¥s dress, veil, accessories; mother of the bride¥s dress, father of the bride¥s formalwear, bride¥s trousseau; floral arrangements for ceremony and reception sites, bouquets for bridesmaids and flower girls; fees for ceremony site, sexton, organist, soloist, rental of aisle carpet, marquee, or huppah; engagement and wedding photos and video; transportation of bridal party to ceremony and reception site; all professional reception services, food, drinks, decorations, music, etc.; bride buys wedding gifts for her attendants and the groom.

(include this part in the rolesí part)

Brideís family duties

Bride¥s engagement and wedding ring; engagement party (it should follow any festivities hosted by the bride¥s family), a rehearsal dinner; groom¥s thank-you notes, personal stationery; groom¥s formalwear, his mother¥s dress, his father¥s formalwear; bride¥s bouquet, corsages for both mothers and grandmothers, boutonnieres for best man and ushers; marriage license, clergy member or judge¥s fee; limousine to airport, complete honeymoon; groom buys wedding gifts for attendants and the bride.

http://www.brides.com/

 

 

 

Perfect Wedding

(use church.jpg)

Here's how it goes at a traditional Christian wedding: the groom's mother is seated first, then the bride's mother. The bride's mother should be the last person to sit down. (Late arrivals should wait at the back for an opportune moment to slip quietly, unescorted, into pews at the back). The beginning of the processional music, which starts after the bride's mother is seated and the bridal party is assembled and ready, is the cue for the clergyman, groom, and best man to enter the sanctuary.

Normally, the groom's father goes up the aisle with his wife, tagging along behind her and the usher. Alternatively, they could walk up the aisle together, perhaps led by the usher.

You are free to have a ceremony as elaborate and traditional as you want, just as you would be if you were planning a garden wedding or home wedding. Take care to arrange the chairs to form an aisle and still give everyone enough room to sit comfortably and be able to see you and your groom during the ceremony. Leave enough room between each row of chairs so that guests can file into and out of the "pews" easily. Keep in mind that you are not obliged to stick to tradition. Consider taking advantage of your location to try something a little more personal or intimate. For instance, have a traditional ceremony, but instead of having all your guests in rows of chairs, arrange the chairs in semi-circles; or, if the ceremony will be brief, have all your guests stand, surrounding you, the groom, and your ceremony officiator.

In the past, most people did assume that, given a choice of churches, it was likely that the ceremony would be held at the bride's church. A more modern take on this subject would be that the choice of church reflects the decision of the bride and groom and their good relationship with the officiator.

The Christian wedding could be celebrated without a mass or with a mass. When the mass is held the procedure of marriage is as follows. Throughout the Mass, take your cues from those around you. The priest will also give instructions. There will be readings and prayers. At times, you will be required to stand. Sometimes, there may be kneeling, but non-Catholic guests can just sit quietly while others kneel. When the congregation is invited to participate in the recitation out loud of the Lord's Prayer, Protestants should be aware that Roman Catholics omit the final few lines: "For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever." During the wedding ceremony, vows and rings are exchanged. Just before Communion is served, there will be the "sign of peace": the priest might say, "Let us offer each other a sign of peace," and that is an indication for everyone to turn to their neighbors, shake their hands, and say, "Peace be with you" or some other friendly greeting. Sometimes, relatives or very close friends will hug and a mother may kiss her child at this point.

The elements of a wedding ceremony are somewhat universal although they may be embellished and their chronology be modified from ceremony to ceremony. Here are some of the major elements:

1) The Greeting

2) The Declaration of Intentions (Wedding Vows)

3) The Exchange of Rings

4) Blessings and Readings, and

5) The Pronouncement

This is an example of a wedding vow:

Male

I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one.

As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over

you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest

love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I

will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God's guidance by His spirit through the Word,

And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband.

Female

I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have

pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the

Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. _____, I will live first unto our God and then unto you,

loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever

strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you

my life as an obedient and faithful wife.

If you want to see more examples of this kind, please refer to the following web site: http://www.bible.org/docs/pastor/weddings/vows.htm

http://www.weddingbells.com/canada/yqa/ceremonydetails.html

Little history of medieval and renaissance marriage

http://www.drizzle.com/~celyn/mrwp/mrwed.html

 

 

 

Kiss

No ceremony is complete without the kiss. In fact, there was a time when an engagement would be null and void without one. Dating back from early Roman times, the kiss represented a legal bond that sealed all contracts.

PRONOUNCED "MAN AND WIFE"

This is the point of time when the marriage becomes official. It is also at this point that the bride officially changes her name.

(use kiss.jpg)

http://www.advol.com/WedShops/traditions.htm

 

 

 

 

(include this part in the post-wedding)

Reception, food and wine

The reception is the official celebration of the new couple. The wedding cake represents the sharing of the bride and groom's body to become one. The drinking of wine symbolizes the sharing of the bride's and groom's life together with God.

The food that is served is usually the best and most traditional representative of each country. It varies from country to country and from state to state.

(use celebration.gif)

Bouquet

After the reception the bride throws her bouquet back over her shoulder where the unmarried female guest group together. Tossing of the bridal bouquet is a custom which has it's roots in England. It was believed that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In order to obtain this fortune, spectators would try to tear away pieces of the bride's clothing and flowers. In an attempt to get away, the bride would toss her bouquet into the crowd. Tradition says that the single woman who catches the bouquet is the one who receives the bride's fortune and will marry next.

A parallel custom is for the groom to remove the garter worn by the bride and throw it back over his shoulder toward the unmarried male guests. Again the one who catches it will be the next to marry.

(use bouquet.gif)

 

 

Carrying the bride over the threshold

This was done to protect the bride from any evil spirits which may be hiding beneath the threshold. The groom would carry his beautiful bride to safety and happiness so they could start their new lives together.

Honeymoon

This was a chance for the new couple to hide from family and friends for a period of time. This is up to the new couple.

 

 

 

 

This site is about the wedding in different countries.

http://www.jmts.com/wedding/customs.htm