"Nerdery Style" Wrestling Pay Per View
This Saturday the WWF annex had the most diabolical pay per view event in recent history. Though only one match was one the card, it turned into what could only be described as a blood bath. (Though, color-commentary Bob kept referring to it as a birdbath)
The match was slated for a falls count anywhere match against "Rusty Lounge" AKA Chairman of the board VS. Pee-stain AKA the GLEN BURNIE GARDEN SNAKE. And this reporter has to say he got his money's worth.
The match started off fairly brutal as the chairman of the board daunted Pee-stain with the usual trash talking. It grew as the color commentary on hand, "BOB - Know it All" chimed in with the usual Pee-stain chants.
Soon, (it didn't take long) Pee-stain was engulfed in a steroid rage and did a flying drop elbow followed by a suma-kum-rata from the top fence. Rusty lounge had NO PROBLEM absorbing these blows and fought back with two vicious blows to Pee-stain's back. Pee-stain was down... It looked bad for Pee-stain.
Then, just as we thought Rusty Lounge had Pee-stain pinned for the final count, Pee-stain again became enraged as he tapped his inner hatred for Houdini and severely beat Rusty Lounge. It was one leg drop after another and another. And just when you though Pee-stain was through; he didn't bother to make a cover he kept up the brutal assault.
"Will this carnage ever end?" said a spectator on hand. "I hope not." said color-commentary Bob. Then came the defining moment in the match. Pee-stain applied the figure four to Rusty Lounge. As Rusty Lounge struggled in complete pain, he managed to make his best move of the match, he cut Pee-stain. "Pee-stain is cut! Pee-stain is cut! Pee-stain is cut!" Bob screamed, "It's hell, fire and brimstone!!!!!" Yes, Rusty Louge had made a deep gash into Pee-stain's left hand. As Pee-stain wiggled in pain, Rusty Lounge made his way to the fence, and the figure-four had to be released.
"Making Pee-stain more angry is not the right thing to do." Bob said. And here in this action shot we see Pee-stain ready to apply his finishing manuever, "The Rubber Sheet." The rubber-sheet is the most deadly manuever ever attempted on Nerdery soil. As Pee-Stain lifted Rusty Lounge high over his head, Bob was heard to say "God help us, God help us ALL!" Then with all the force little Pee-stain could muster he delivered the final blow. Rusty Lounge lost several pieces of his inner support on impact. Pee-stain now had the match won, Rusty Lounge was finished.
"One... Two... Three.." And it was over. The first (and hopefully last) Nerdery PPV was over and the action was astounding. "I have never seen a match of such sheer stupidity in all my life.", said Bob, "But then again that is Pee-stain for you. Just when you think things can't get any dumber he comes out of nowhere and suprises you. Thank God for Pee-Stain or there would be no Nerdery PPV events...."
In a final act, Pee-stain holds his lifeless advisary like a dead fish. Pee-stain had lost in a previous match; In the summer of '97 againist Dianne's Chair of Death. Now, He was more than ready to reap the rewards of victory.
Medics attend to the wounds.
"Thank god I can still beat-off", Pee-stain was quoted as saying about his victory. "Do You haven any other comments for your fans?" he was then asked. Pee-stain thought for a moment looking at his cut hand, and thoughtfully said, "Oh yeah, am I dead yet?"
