38 Old Country Rd
Garden City,
NY 11530

(516) 741-7304

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I get a call late one evening. "Mom's died," he said. His widowed mother was a member of the Society. The son, who lived out-of-state, was a stranger to me.

We met to discuss funeral arrangements. He had no idea what his mother's wishes were. Not surprisingly, they had never spoken about such things. He had no idea where she kept her valuable papers. All he knew is that she belonged to the Society and I was probably the right person to talk to. In fact, I knew nothing more than did he.

Few of us are fully prepared. We don't want to think about our own deaths. So we postpone completing a will; we haven't filled out a health care proxy; we may not understand the difference between living wills and durable powers of attorney.

Hardly any have let others know about whether they want burial or cremation, whether they prefer a funeral or memorial service, who is to speak at such an occasion, where it is to take place and so forth.

Yet, when decisions such as these are put off, the lives of the survivors are made that much more difficult. Already under a great deal of stress, they now have to make additional decisions because they have no documents to guide them. Perhaps family members have different impressions about what was really wanted.

To fill this gap, the Society has launched a program called Our Ethical Family. I meet with people to explain what forms they need, provide the proper papers and then keep copies with me so that I am able to be of utmost assistance in time of need. This takes about an hour. There is additional time that is needed to get one form notarized. More time may be needed to meet with an attorney or tax advisor who can more thoroughly explain the various tax laws which makes charitable gift giving advantageous to both heirs and non-profit organizations, such as the Society.

Please call me to make an appointment. Do it for the ones you love.

----- Arthur Dobrin
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Recognition Day is almost upon us.It will be held on June 7 and this year's program will include Stephanie Rudolph's and Peter Napoli's graduation from Sunday School, as well as a farewell to some of our Youth Group members.

My deepest apologies to Marty Rudolph, father of Stephanie for not including his name in my column last month. As she mentioned on her Affirmation Day, Marty has, of course, played a key role in helping to bring Stephanie to the point where she is today.

Peter Napoli celebrated his Ethical Affirmation on May 24. Peter was born into the Ethical Culture Movement and some of you may remember him as an infant here fourteen years ago. He is a creative and artistic person who likes Alternative music. He has been playing the trombone in the school band, but he relishes playing the drums at home. Peter is a "party animal" and really enjoys being out and around the town. He's athletic and adventurous and loves cars, especially fast sporty ones.

Most importantly, Peter speaks his mind and has a strong sense of right and wrong, which he does not hesitate to verbalize in Sunday School class and elsewhere. He's kind and caring to young and old alike and has a truly tender heart. My husband Rob and I are very proud that Peter is our son.

We look forward to seeing you all at Recognition Day on June 7. As always, the Sunday School parents will provide the refreshments.

------ Linda Napoli
(Can you tell this was written by his mother?)
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I have met with the A.E.U. Board and we have worked out what I think is a suitable arrangement of payments for all concerned. I will submit this proposal to our board on Wednesday, May 6, and they will have either approved or disapproved the 'deal' by the time you read this. I would like to discuss it with you so that more members of the Society can participate in this important decision which will affect the entire membership for many years to come. If you are able to come to the General Membership Meeting on Sunday, May 31 just after the platform, we can do just that. Please be there.

Of course, on the same Sunday we will vote and elect the four new members of the Board of Trustees who will serve for the next three years. It is of the utmost importance that your voice is recorded 'loud and clear' - another reason for you to make sure that you attend that meeting.

As another part of the General Membership Meeting, I am going to present to you a new format for our next budget. The agreement with the A.E.U. allows us to present a much clearer picture of our true financial condition and the new format will emphasize a budget that can be balanced quickly and stay balanced with a maximum effort on all our parts. It is therefore imperative that you participate in this decision also. I cannot find stronger reasons for you to be present.

On Sunday, May 3, 1998 the Society celebrated Founder's Day and what a celebration it was! To all those who were kind enough to put in such a marvelous and unselfish effort, I want to take this opportunity to say 'thank you' from the bottom of my heart. And to all those who were able to attend and add their presence to this most wonderful of days, please accept another heartfelt 'thank you.' And to those family members and dearest of friends who came from 'far and wide' to help me celebrate, it was most warming and affectionate to have you share the day with me. WOW!!!

Enjoy your summer, be it play or vacation or some terrific combination of both. We will come together again in the fall in friendship, love, and peace.

------ Richard Rapp
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Providing a safe place for our young children to play after the platform has been an important goal of the Sunday School. The area behind the building opposite the fountain is an ideal location for some portable play equipment.

If you have something you would like to donate or if you can make a financial donation toward purchasing some equipment, please contact Linda Napoli at 516-248-8382. Thank you.

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School districts on Long island should establish programs that address the unconscionable harassment that many gay and lesbian high school students must endure. This is the course that BOCES Superintendent Ed Milliken has vowed to pursue in Suffolk County in the wake of the demise of the BOCES high school that was established for this purpose.

I agree that a segregated environment for students is undesirable. However, we in The Gay and Lesbian Awareness Committee have learned from the work PFLAG has done with Long Island high schools that the teaching of tolerance in the schools has not been successful. Many students are homophobic and many teachers and guidance counselors do not understand the problems that gay and lesbian students encounter in school. Gay teenagers are reluctant to approach them to report harassment by other students.

The problem is urgent. These gay and lesbian children deserve to live free from the fear that going to school engenders them. Bright students very often are forced to leave school and are scarred for life. This is another factor in the disproportionate suicide rate among gay and lesbian youth. Superintendent Milliken must not delay in his efforts to convince the Long Island school districts to establish special programs that will bring immediate relief to these hapless children. If he is not successful, special schools for gay and lesbian high school students are the only alternative.

----- Tony Pumo

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The AEU is seeking eight creative, highly motivated self-starters to work as a team to help develop and nurture fledging Ethical Culture Groups. The new development team will be responsible for receiving training in the creation of new Societies and selecting target groups with growth potential. The team will work to develop vigorous plans tailored to the specific needs of each group.

Team members will be responsible for working on-site with groups to implement these plans. Candidates need in-depth knowledge of Ethical Culture, skills in group organization and an ability to work well with people. We seek candidates who can commit to extensive weekend work and travel. Stipends beyond expenses are being sought for Development Team members.

Interested people should send their resume and a short essay exploring their interest in and potential commitment to this project to: American Ethical Union, 2 West 64th Street, New York, NY 10023

For further information please contact Joy McConnell 314-351-1233, fax. 314-351-0371, AEUGrowth@aol.com

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Following the lead of our Ethical women who have had successful retreats, it seems time for Humanist men to do likewise. Anyone interested in exploring a weekend retreat, probably next fall, can contact David Fersh who is looking for a few good men to work on the when's, where's and how's. Home - 516-271-9593, Work - 516-571-5517

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Next meeting: September 20,1998

At the society, we recently wrote letters to the USDA complaining about theproposed new regulations for labeling foods as "organic." Below are the methods of farming that special interest groups have been trying to get approved under the "organic" label. My information comes from the journal of Genesis Farm, an organic Christian community in Blairstown, NJ.

1. "Animal Cannibalism"- the practice of using leftover body parts of slaughtered livestock for feed. This is a multi-billion dollar industry that "recycles" unsaleable body parts, including those from animals that died from unknown reasons. This practice has been tied to "mad cow" disease in England.
2. "Factory Farming Methods" - Forcing the animals to live in intense, filthy confinement because they are seen as nothing more than a commodity. Because of the unsanitary conditions, animals are given antibiotics to prevent disease.
3. "Food Irradiation" - This is the practice,which has been approved for general use since 1986, of using deadly gamma rays to "zap" food. By being used to destroy bacteria and lengthen shelf life, it takes any incentive away from the food industry to create cleaner, more respectful handling of livestock. Irradiating also causes food to loose essential nutrients and creates known cancer-causing agents, such as benzene, in beef. This doesn't even begin to touch on the dangers to workers in the irradiation facilities.
4. "Genetic Engineering" - By altering the genetic structure of plants, we are playing with the natural life cycle of the plants. We are also harming the process of biodiversity which "is so important for an organism to evolve in a way that best sustains its life."
5. "Sewage Sludge Fertilization" - The Genesis journal quotes from Harper Collins Dictionary of Environmental Science which says that sludge is a "viscous semisolid mixture of bacteria and virus-laden organic matter, toxic metals, synthetic and organic chemicals, and settled solids removed from domestic and industrial waste water at a sewage treatment plant."

Agencies involved are still asking us to write our congresspeople to pressurethem regarding this issue. The docket number of the proposed new regulations is TMD-94-00-2. For those with computers, updates on the status can be found at www.geocities.com/athens/1527. It is a fascinating website.

----- Janet Rudolph

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• Former president Jerry Ginsberg is recuperating at home from the cardiac problems that required be hospitalized briefly
• Edith Schwedt has also returned home following a week at North Shore Hospital. She had a series of circulatory problems for which she has visiting therapists guiding her to a more complete recovery. Notes or calls would be appreciated. Visits should be preceded by a call beforehand. We wish Jerry and Edith a speedy and complete recovery
• We were saddened to learn of the passing of Elizabeth Berry, George Roemer's mother-in-law. Our condolences to her daughter Adrienne Roemer and to the family
• Albert Alfandari wrote, in response to a letter from Arthur Dobrin, that he is feeling pretty good and misses being among us, after so many years of enjoying the platform presentations
• Irene Antoniazzi has written a poem about the difficulty of being a young atheist in public school. It has been selected for inclusion in a soon- to- be published collection titled, "Celebrate! New York's Young Poets Speak Out." The publisher is Creative Communications
• Dr David Harmon will be the honoree of the Long Island Crisis Center as 1998 Man of the Year. Congratulations!
• In late April there was a program on channel 21 dealing with easing the dying of terminally ill patients with palliative treatments. After a half-hour documentary film on the subject, equal time was devoted to questions called in by the viewers. These were answered by a panel of experts, among whom was Joan Beder, our vice president of the Society
• Tony Pumo conducts a program on Public Access Cable TV, Thursdays at 9 pm . It is broadcast on cable channel 80 or 96. A letter from Tony appeared in Newsday on Sunday, May 10. The subject was the discontinuance of the high school for gay and lesbian students. His letter is on our bulletin board
• Professor Jefferson Fish is embarking on a year's research leave. During his absence from teaching he will be working on the editing of three books
• The twenty-three year old twin sons of Robert and Judith Greenberg are entering a new phase of their lives. Seth has graduated as a massage therapist. Stuart is participating in a program in which he will be teaching English in Japan for a year
• Eva, daughter of newsletter editor Al D'Angelo, has been inducted into the National Honor Society at Sacred Heart Academy
• Leorah Avidor, the 18- year old granddaughter of Arlene Baum , is graduating from high school with a 4.0 grade point average. She launched a school literary magazine as a sophomore, served as editor of the school newspaper in her junior year, and as a senior was editor of the yearbook. She plans to attend college in San Diego, CA
• Katya, daughter of Stanley, youngest son of Lynn and Gene Schapiro, will be entering Barnard College in September
• Daniel Antoniazzi will be attending Cornell University this fall
• Ross Outten, son of Wayne and Virginia, recently completed his first recording
• Renee and Art Silver attended a dance recital on May 3, in which their granddaughter was a participant
• Muriel and Ed Rubin have been members of our Society for about thirty years. For the last eighteen they have been in Florida for the winter and among us only for the spring and fall. Now they have sold their house up north and decided to be Floridians all year long. A fond but reluctant farewell to the Rubins
• We've had many recent visitors at our Platform meetings. On April 26, Lillian Willinger was accompanied by her son who is a psychiatrist in Hawaii. Joy McConnell, AEU director of Religious education and chairman of the AEU growth planning staff, was also present on that day
• On Founder's Day the following members of long standing came from near and far to join in the tribute to Richard Rapp. Rima Kleinbaum form California; Emily Lewis from Amherst, MA; Gene and Lynn Schapiro from Roosevelt Island; Sophie Meyer and Dorothy Gunzenhauser from Newtown, PA; and Inge and Victor Zadikov from Smithtown
• Janet Rudolph and her husband Marty left in May for their first vacation together since the birth of their children. Their destination was England
• Chloe, the eleven month old dog of Laurel and Herb Coston will be featured in an article scheduled to appear in the New York Times magazine section on June 17. A working dog helps pay the bills.

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Sunday Programs will continue from June 14-August 16. The summer program will be a more informal program than our regular Sunday Platform. There will be an opportunity for sharing ideas, thoughts and feelings and getting to know one another in new ways. The Colloquy will also continue throughout the summer at 10 a.m.

• June 14 - How Homophobia and Heterosexism Touches Our Lives. Followed by Pride Parade in Huntington.
• June 21*- Summer Solstice, The Longest Day of the Year -- Celebrating the new season together.
• June 28 - Talking Our Walk: How Do We Talk about Ethical Culture? So often members say: I don't know how to tell my friends about the Ethical Society. How do we communicate our beliefs, and why belonging to the Ethical Humanist Society is important to us?
• July 5 - Interdependence Day Living in Community -One Year Later.In response to the great interest members have in my living in an intentional community, I have invited several members of my household to share their experiences with us.
• July 12* - Family Day, Bringing Ethical Culture Home. Region II Family Day. We're inviting friends from the Brooklyn, Queens, Suffolk and Boston Societies to join us in exploring how we can have a greater connection to Ethical Culture in our daily lives. We will share our own experience and create our own ceremonies. Would people like to have a luncheon after the platform? Let me know.
• July 19 - Walking Our Talk - sharing our work in the world. Bringing Ethical Culture to the world.
• July 26 - Personal Mission Statements: What are our values? How do we use them to plan our lives? Followed by Workshop on Developing a Personal Mission Statement.
• August 2 - Mid-summer Reflections. The summer is half-way over. What have you done that you want to tell us about? What haven't you done that you want to? What are some of your favorite summer memories?
• August 9 - Putting Our Money Where Our Mouths Are - Exploring how our values affect our relationship with money.
• August 16* - Ethical Heroes - Who are the people you admire for their ethical behavior? Share your inspiring stories with us.