NEGOTIATING CONDOM USE
Most campaigns for the control of STDs and HIV stress the use of male condoms as a primary method of disease protection. But without fundamental changes in the balance of power between women and men "condom use" is often difficult for women. "Women do not use condoms; they have to negotiate their use" (Lori Heise, United States).
- Women are often powerless to negotiate condom use with their partners facing threats of abuse or accusations of infidelity if they insist.
- A man may use a condom with a commercial sex worker in order to protect his health but will not use a condom with his wife or primary partner to protect her health even if he has had unprotected sex with someone else.
- When a woman asks a husband or partner to use a condom, he may feel she mistrusts him, or has been unfaithful.
- Most women find it difficult to obtain condoms, which are often not distributed in family planning clinics and may be inaccessible or too expensive commercially.
- A woman who keeps condoms for her partner's use is likely to be thought "unfeminine" or even promiscuous, while a man may consider it "unmasculine" to use a condom which he interprets as denying his full sexuality.
The promotion of condom use exposes fundamental contradictions in sexual relationships, STD prevention messages, technology and services. The development of a female condom represents a partial solution, but the device is expensive, clumsy, and largely unavailable, and still requires men's cooperation.
What is needed are new technologies such as vaginal microbicides that can prevent disease transmission without preventing wanted pregnancies and that a woman herself can use without her partners knowledge or consent.
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