Laurent,
Pauline
Grief Denied : A Vietnam Widow's Story
“Grief Denied” is a competently written book by a
Vietnam widow, Pauline Laurent, who for many years lived a life defined by her
husband’s death. In telling her
story, she provides support as well as a roadmap on how to remake herself as
woman whose life did not end with her husband’s.
Forming a life around death does not ultimately sustain the will to live.
A young widow, expecting her first child, Laurent did not
know how to grieve. Everyone told
her to be strong and, implicitly, to get over it.
She had nightmares and persistent thoughts that her Howard wasn’t in
the coffin they weren’t allowed to open.
Instead of the thanks of a grateful nation, she received a silence that
evoked a sense of shame. Laurent
coped by developing a stoicism and anger that kept her husband’s death
unfinished business.
The effort cost her. One
chapter is titled “The Lost Years.” The book is very detailed on how she recognized things
weren’t right with her and her efforts to change that.
She says: “It seems as if the experiences that we, the survivors
of that war, have tried to forget, deny, and ignore are now knocking on the door
of our unconsciousness, asking to be remembered and finally dealt with so that
we can truly move forward with our lives.”
That she has done with this memoir.
Not forgotten in her book is the importance for a child to
grieve, maybe especially for a posthumous child as all the father represents is
loss. I particularly recommend it,
not just to widows, but to anyone who had a family member killed in Vietnam. [paperback]
Still can't find it? Try
Battleground
Books:
Used books and scarce first editions at reasonable prices.
My Vietnam Related Websites:
Women in Vietnam
~ Not only nurses served . . .
Dusty's Home Page
~ Poetry and prose by a woman who was a nurse in Vietnam
Emily's
Poetry ~ By a Red Cross Donut Dolly
Battle Dressing ~ The Journey of a Nurse in Vietnam
Tim O'Brien's Home Page
~ National Book Award Winner and Americal Vet
Shrapnel in the Heart
~ The most moving book you will read on Vietnam
The
Irish on the Wall ~ An effort to locate the Irish who died in Vietnam
Project
Hearts and Minds ~ Help put Viet Nam back together
All About Vietnam
~ An annotated bibliography of books about Vietnam for sale thru Amazon
Worldwide!
Photos from a Holts' Military History Tour
~ My trip to
Vietnam, February 1998
Illinois
Vietnam Women's Memorial ~ Honoring all the Illinois women who served
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| Page last updated September 19, 2002 |
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