As I was writing "Do You Drive Employees Nuts?" for the Leader Exchange, I found myself cruising Disgruntled.com, a post-Dilbert repository of employee horror stories and the self-professed "Magazine for People Who Work for a Living."

I wanted to see if the site was a good link to help leaders understand some of the more dysfunctional behaviors that exist within the leadership and management ranks in the business world. It is, and is not. I certainly found many examples of despicable management behavior, some of which are truly beyond my comprehension. Why would anyone want to act in such a manner, or treat other people in such ways? Hardly effective leadership.

Unfortunately, many of the examples were made doubly worse because the people who posted the messages seemed too often to abdicate responsibility for their situations. Based on the several-year tenures of many posters at the companies they were complaining about, they did nothing about it but complain from a safe distance. I found myself increasingly irritated that the considerable time these folks invested with their often mean-spirited complaints might have been more fruitfully put to use finding a solution to their grievances. Perhaps the site would be more aptly titled "The Magazine for People Who Complain for a Living."

I think a lot of people are perfectly happy, even heavily invested in staying in situations that they can moan, groan and complain about. I’ve known people who honestly wouldn’t know what to do with their time if they weren’t nay-saying about something. The compassionate view might be that Negative Nellie just hasn’t discovered the inner resources that would allow her to stand up, take action and create a more positive reality for herself, so she’ll find herself again and again in the very situations that, ultimately, will ignite the spark of clarity, confidence and drive that will help her reach "enough is enough" and take action. Until then, it’s much easier to blame someone else for one’s misery, after all, than it is to find the strength to face the beast and change one’s attitude and behavior.

I recently saw American History X, a movie that generated a much-deserved Academy Award nomination for its star, actor Edward Norton, who played a skinhead. In the film, a man played by Avery Brooks, who becomes the lead character’s mentor as he struggles to let go of his unproductive thinking, says that when someone unleashes their rage and complains about their oppressive situation, he asks them, "What have you done today to change your situation for the better?"

As I scrolled down the postings on Disgruntled.com, I couldn’t help but feel that many of the disgruntled employees had found their perfect matches in their attitudinally-ill employers or managers. Perhaps they’re made for each other: One, a manager who’s behavior is loathsome and worthy of more than just complaint; the other an employee who’s mission in life is to find reasons to complain, blame others and thoroughly avoid any responsibility for their situation.

My mother would say, "Not everyone is as strong as you are; it’s not easy." To me, that's a cop-out. I didn’t say it was easy to choose to see the choices, resources and opportunities that can be found around each and every one of us at any given time, but that doesn’t change the fact that the choice still is, indeed, your very own. Whether it’s easy or not, whether you expect it to be, is simply one factor determining what choice you'll make.

The only thing that will change that situation for the better is a reflection on the question, "What have you done today to change your situation for the better?" Well?