Watch your language -- The purpose of using metaphors is to offer something your audience can relate to a common thought or feeling. Many leaders rely on battle metaphors or violent, divisive language such as, "Let’s conduct guerrilla warfare," "obliterate the competition," or "the train’s leaving the station; get on or get left behind." These metaphors are dated, and reinforce self-interested behavior rather than collaboration. Even many sports metaphors have become empty clichés. Opt for clear, positive language and straight-forward sincerity to foster shared understanding and earn the support of your group.

Respond, don’t "re-act" -- We often "re-act" to another person based on something that’s happened to us before. Responding mindfully rather than re-acting emotionally requires self-knowledge and discipline, but it allows us to be more effective in our communication. List your hot buttons, and identify a "keep calm" strategy for when they get pushed!

Become an active listener -- Concentrate on the speaker’s message and resist distractions. Keep an open mind to others’ ideas. Don’t tune out if you disagree. Indicate you understand what the speaker said by reframing key points: "Let me be sure I understand correctly. You’re saying…"

Mind your body language -- Body language and voice tone say more than the words you choose, though word choice is an important aspect of your communication. To be effective, your voice tone, body posture, breathing, muscle tension, gestures and movements should be in alignment with your words. Don’t cross your arms and legs or frown and expect to appear open and accessible; relax!

Giving feedback -- Many of us soften feedback -- at the expense of clarity -- to avoid confrontation. Provide specific examples that illustrate your critique. For example, instead of, "your attitude is bad" or "that just didn’t work," say, "when you miss deadlines, then cross your arms and look away when I talk with you, it gives me the impression you don’t care about the quality of your work. Can you help me understand this differently?" And don’t forget specific positive feedback; studies show that a high percentage of employees rarely receive positive feedback from their manager.

Conflict management -- Identify and involve major stakeholders. Hold one-on-one or very small group discussions early to vent hostility. Make sure that everyone knows in advance why the meeting has been called. Set ground rules that create an "attack-free" safe haven for dialogue. Use non-judgmental, non-inflammatory language like "I perceive…" or "it seems to me…" Reiterate that personal attacks and blame aren’t constructive. Identify and reiterate common ground or common goals; focus on areas of agreement. Don’t force resolution; it’s okay to agree to disagree.

Meeting management -- Take charge of meetings by carefully planning an agenda, distributing the agenda in advance, and sticking to the agenda during the meeting (or getting the group’s okay before deviating from the agenda). During the meeting, review the meeting’s purpose, invite a variety of opinions and facilitate useful discussion. Assign or re-cap key points, action items and assignments at the end of the meeting. Start and end meetings on time.

Information management -- Look for abstracts -- articles, bullet lists, sidebars -- that summarize key information for you; keep only information that’s directly relevant to current projects or interests; be clear on what information’s important to accomplishing key priorities; remember that you don’t have to know everything now, you just need to know how to find information when you need it; cultivate your ability to scan -- read first and last chapters and paragraphs, and scan the rest of a book or article; think before you send -- don’t "cc" the world…identify who really needs to receive information and forward the communiqué to just those individuals; practice good time management so you’re clear about your priorities.

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