If we could dissect what’s going on internally when typical workday stress occurs, most of us would see that there’s often a conflict between what we perceive or expect, and the circumstances we're handed in reality.

For example, you might create stress for yourself when you set an unrealistic deadline, or when your standards for someone else's behavior don't match his actual behavior or capabilities. You might see someone's behavior as rude, for example, and feel that he should act differently. Or you might create frustration for yourself when you avoid something you know you need to do. All of these scenarios can generate anxiety and stress.

If you don’t resolve such conflict between your expectations and reality, you may experience a blow to morale (your own and others), reduced quality, wasted time and energy, and other less-than-optimal effects.

This tipsheet offers five suggestions (plus a bonus "food for thought") for observing and processing external information and managing internal conflicts that might occur.

Are you assertive or aggressive?

Are unrealistic expectations causing you stress?

Cultivating a mindset of excellence (not perfectionism)

Deep listening: Can it make a difference in your life?

Tips for when people really irritate you