Situation: You feel disconnected from others

As busy as we all feel these days, and as surrounded by people and the buzz of technology as we seem to be, many people feel more isolated, more separated from others than ever. We have become, as Earl Shorris said in A Nation of Salesmen, "a nation of lonely molecules." This sense of isolation or loneliness may be evident to outsiders, or it may be a "dirty little secret" one hides away within himself. Even still, he wonders, "How can I reach out of this isolation and genuinely connect with others?"

Tip: Start by receiving someone's perspective

Yes, it can seem tough to have to reach out and feel vulnerable, and the road from "here" to "there" can seem long and overwhelming. As with any seemingly long journey, a good place to begin is by taking a step forward!

One way to connect with others and lessen the "rejection factor" is to seek to learn about someone else; to ask questions and learn their story … or a fraction of it, anyway. Just relax and commit to fully listening. Instead of forming an instant response, interrupting, or talking ourselves, ask a question and just listen until the person has completed their thought. Then ask another question, and listen until you learn some more! Just listen without trying to fix it, add to it, judge it, compete with it, counter it, correct it … (You'll notice how challenging this can be!)

Many "receptivity practices" can appear surprisingly difficult, because we're used to hurrying through the day, buzzing along the surface without much true connection. But what don't we notice in our rush? What friendships and small kindnesses do we pass by? What do we miss, and might it be something that's truly important to us? Make a commitment today to slow down a bit so that you might notice your opportunities to make connections along the way.

Ivy Sea Online offers many tips for strengthening your mindset and refining your communication skillfulness, so browse around and see what speaks to you!

Want to browse more handy intrapersonal mastery tips? Check out our Mastery-Tips Archive.

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