Situation: You repel when you might opt to receive

This seems like an odd dilemma, doesn't it? After all, most people would say that they enjoy receiving, and some might even admit to feeling that they don't receive enough of the things they'd like most. Yet, it often seems more the exception than the rule that people are actually receptive. And you can't receive if you're not receptive.

Think about it for a minute. You can probably recall a scenario or two (or more) where you felt like you were somehow repelling the very things that you wanted to attract or receive. How does this happen? Two probable factors are your mindset and your communication approach (or behavior in general). But there is a potential solution: notice where you're repelling (or being closed), and practice being more open and receptive.

Tip: Practice receptivity

Practicing receptivity is more challenging than you might think. Why? For several reasons. For example, many of us are taught that it is better to give than to receive, and yet our "do it quick and get there fast" culture reinforces neither graceful receiving nor genuine giving. Both practices can be most rewarding.

Another reason that it can be difficult to practice receiving is that, particularly at work, we might feel a sense of competition and scarcity that makes us want to prove that we're smart, knowledgeable, and perhaps indispensable. That insecurity can fuel inclinations to speak instead of listen, to make statements rather than ask questions, to inquire instead of jumping to conclusions, and to assume that we're right instead of considering that someone else may be (or may also be).

And, frankly, there are many people who are just pretty closed-minded a lot of the time, and this prevents receptivity and repels that which we otherwise might receive.

To be more open and receptive, notice where you have opportunities to ask questions, learn more, consider some else's opinion, and gracefully receive ideas, advice, perspectives, compliments, and many other gifts that often come to us unrecognized because we're too frequently close-minded, or in action- or deflection-mode instead of reception mode.

Six practices for cultivating a key skill (receptivity)

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