Ivy Sea Online: Six Practices for Cultivating a Key Skill (Receptivity)

SIX PRACTICES FOR CULTIVATING A KEY SKILL (Receptivity)

Business owners, as with other leaders, know that the list of must-have traits is a very long one, indeed. And yet there are several skills and traits that make the experience of enterprise ownership a more pleasant and rewarding one. For example, surveys often point to such traits as tenacity, adaptability, and persistance as ones that entrepreneurs must possess.

There is a trait that is rarely mentioned in the surveys, though, linear and reason-worshipping as most surveys (or their creators) tend to be. What trait is that? Receptivity, and it's a crucial trait to have or hone. In fact, receptivity is a foundational trait, upon which those like adaptability, vision, creativity and innovation can spring. What's more, receptivity is absolutely required for adept listening, interpersonal skillfulness and problem-solving — activities which distinguish the best leaders from the pack of merely average or altogether horrid ones.

Leaders and enterprise owners who lack receptivity can get themselves into all manner of unpleasant situations. The unreceptive leader might, for example, believe that his way is the superior one and thus close himself off from the perspectives and ideas of others. In being unreceptive, he not only frustrates those around him who have potentially fabulous ideas, but he also down-shifts energy, morale and momentum, and turns away opportunities for dynamic discussion and brainstorms that could be catalysts to higher levels of productivity and satisfaction for everyone involved. He also, in being unreceptive, starves himself of opportunities for growth and increased skillfulness.

Business owners who lack receptivity suffer the same consequences as leaders, since business owners wear the leadership hat as well as many others required of enterprise ownership. Yet a lack of receptivity can also have other negative repercussions for the business owner, just as a knack for receptivity can bring many rewards. For example, an unreceptive business owner remains stubbornly (and unnecessarily) isolated, refusing to reach out for ideas, inspiration and encouragement from other business owners. That same lack of receptivity may also mean that the business owner misses many opportunities to cultivate a higher degree of loyalty and appreciation from customers and employees, as well as others in her community.

Individuals who lack receptivity — be they business owners, organizational leaders or employees — bypass opportunities to learn from and connect with others. They withhold from themselves the chances to share their own ideas and experiences, to listen fully to others and experience the joys of mindful communication. In addition, receptivity is a prerequisite for intuition, vision, creativity and excellent problem-solving, since all rely upon a healthy inflow of inspiration, information and ideas. But these aren't the only unfortunate consequences of being unreceptive.

For the person who lacks receptivity, whether due to stubborness or lack of awareness, chances are excellent that he or she is closed-minded in other ways and situations as well. The unreceptive person might also be unintentionally lacking in graciousness and gratefulness, because both require a degree of mindful receptivity. Imagine a clear, healthy, flowing stream, and then imagine that same stream with a blockage of garbage and dead wood. Where receptivity is limited, so is the stream of what otherwise might be flowing in and received.

Fortunately, as with many things, receptivity is a trait, skill and habit that can be cultivated and mastered. By adopting receptivity practices, you not only gain in receptivity, but can use such practice as part of your spiritual or personal-mastery development.

There are many exercises and practices that can help strengthen your powers of receptivity. Here are several possibilities to get you started:

Exercises to enhance receptivity

• Receive. Does this seem a redundant entry on a list of practices to enhance receptivity? Not at all. Consider receptivity to be a general state or mindset, and the ability to receive to be both a subset of and practice to enhance receptivity. For example, if we're feeling self-conscious and thinking about how self-conscious we feel, we're closed off to receiving anything else. If our focus is on gracefully and gratefully receiving — everything from the beauty of a flower, to the warmth of the sun, to the air we take into our lungs, to a smile or compliment or idea or gift from someone else — then it becomes very difficult to be self-conscious or narrow-minded.

• Be still. The Tao te Ching provides the example of the muddy stream never being clear. In order to gain clarity — to listen or see through and receive wisdom or other information or inspiration — we must be still long enough to allow the muddy waters of our over-active minds to settle and become clear. Far from being a waste of time, "still time" — moments of what seems to be "doing nothing" — allows inspiration, genius, and the sought-after ideas or solutions to come to us. Don't believe me? Check out any great leader, genius, artist or innovator, and I'll bet you find many examples of still-time in practice. What qualifies as still-time? Lots of things:

• Sit in the park for five or more minutes, doing nothing but watching and listening to what's around you.

• Take a walk in nature, whether out in the woods or in an urban setting. Walk slowly, and literally stop to smell the roses.

• Eat lunch or dinner alone, without reading material or some other "busy work."

• Sit quietly for all or part of a flight, having nothing but a pad of paper and pen nearby to jot down ideas that come to you (resist the urge to fill the time with "nervous writing").

• Meditate. This is exactly what meditation is — cultivating the discipline or capacity to be still, to be receptive to all that is available when our minds and ears and eyes aren't crowded with noise. Whether for five minutes or an hour or more, practicing meditation (among its other many benefits) helps us learn how to tune out the noise so that we can see and experience the gems on the other side of the noise. Meditation also helps increase the "buffer" that allows us to be more skillful communicators and observers.

• Listen. If you set a goal to become a listener, you'll be practicing how to be more receptive. While part of listening skillfulness involves the ability to ask good questions or repeat something to ensure we've heard correctly, both of those things require us to first hear — or receive — what another person is sharing or communicating.

• Inquire. Instead of always making statements, practice the art of inquiry. The easier and more prevalent habit for most of us is to make statements, offer advice, or share opinions. We tell things to others. And this can be fantastic; after all, speaking makes up an important part of a conversation. But if that's all we do — speak, state, talk — then we're not allowing someone else to speak (or state, or talk) and thus depriving ourselves of the opportunity to learn more about them, to get inspired, to learn something new, to gain new ideas. Inquiry, rather than inquisition, is a matter of having a genuine intention to learn and listen, and gently asking questions where you might otherwise make a statement. Inquiry is a key facet of skillful listening, but can also be an enjoyable and effective practice in and of itself. Give it a try.

• Review. With nothing more than a few focused minutes (or more) a day, and a pad of paper and pen, you can cultivate the worthwhile practice of being aware of the many things you've truly received during the day. Using the examples above, jot down ten things right now that you've received today. Examples might include everything from receiving the light of day as the sun rose, to receiving your morning coffee or receiving an idea or compliment from a colleague. As you renew the practice each day, also practice truly receiving these things throughout the day. Genuinely and mindfully receive, and take note of what you receive. Better yet, broaden the practice and keep a receptivity journal.

Can you think of other ways that you might open yourself up to being more receptive to new ideas, better listening, greater awareness, and higher potential?

Conscious-communication and personal-mastery concepts are shared at length in Big Vision, Small Business, a new book by Jamie S. Walters. Walters is founder of Ivy Sea, Inc., and publisher and editor-in-chief for Ivy Sea Online, recognized by Inc.com, Harvard Business School, CEO Refresher and other business portals as one of the best sites on the internet for entrepreneurs, small-business owners and organizational leaders. The hardcover edition of Big Vision was published in October 2001 by Ivy Sea. The updated and expanded paperback edition will be published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers in November 2002. For more info or to order your copy of Big Vision, Small Business, check out the great buzz on Big Vision.

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