Issue 1

First Things First

* Hello, "Communicate with More Confidence" is a personal newsletter from

me, Roy Sheppard. As it's the first one - a brief explanation. It was

originally designed as a way of 're-connecting' with my past and existing

clients around the world. If its going out to a few hundred it may as well

be distributed more widely. The challenge is to make it meaty with no

waffle (yet vegetarian friendly!) - so here goes....

In this issue;

* Communication case study.

* The Most Powerful Words in the English language

* Are you a 'poker' or a 'stroker'?

Case Study

* It is so tempting to be selective about the information you give staff,

customers or suppliers. A 'need to know' approach from the top of an

organisation will inevitably cause pain, frustration and confusion for

everyone in the longer term.

This is well illustrated by the following true example. I was due to

interview a sales director at a meeting of his 70 sales staff. In the lead

up to the event he refused point blank to discuss anything negative "It

would be bad for staff motivation and bad for business." He was adamant

that the subject of the company car policy was absolutely forbidden even

though it would certainly be at the forefront of people's minds at the

meeting. It had been a recurring and painful issue for him for the past 6

months.

Finally, I persuaded him to talk about it in front of the staff. With his

full backing beforehand I made the following opening remark "You've got a

lousy car policy, haven't you?'. This elicited cheers and a spontaneous

round of applause from the audience. He then said (as agreed) when he'd

told his wife what had happened she replied "And what idiot came up with

that idea?" Howls of laughter from the audience. He went on to explain

that all reps. cars had to be exchanged for diesels because his board had

forced him to make a saving of £80,000 - he had two choices - going diesel

or making three staff redundant. He added that he too had handed in his

Saab Turbo for a diesel. The problem was solved in less than 5 minutes.

He learned that his staff did need to know why he had made his decision.

Morale instantly improved and for the rest of the meeting, delegates were

far more open to the other demands which their highly competitive

marketplace was thrusting upon them.

Trained therapists are taught that all behaviour has a positive intention,

but sometimes there are negative consequences. The sales director's

intentions were positive, honourable and professional (he didn't want to

fire 3 staff) but by assuming that people need only have partial

information it resulted in the problems he and the staff encountered.

Who have you assumed does not need to know something that could be

valuable to them?

Do you beat yourself up or pump yourself up?

* How you communicate with yourself influences your self-esteem,

confidence, beliefs, values and behaviour. These qualities influence your

effectiveness when you interact with others that obviously impacts the

results you achieve in life. The language we use reinforces our beliefs,

or has the power to help us change them.

* Which words do you use in your self-talk which are sabotaging you right

now? There are lots of words that have this effect - but here are four

common words that have a dramatic impact on reducing our potential. How

often do you use them?

* ALWAYS, - I always make a hash of exams

* NEVER, - I never get the opportunity to work on the good projects

* SHOULD - At my age I should be able to meet and mingle with new people

without feeling shy

* CAN'T - I can't draw to save my life.

These words close down your options. Eliminating these words and others

like them from our vocabulary and becoming more aware of how we talk to

ourselves can have a profound effect on the way we think about ourselves.

* One sentence that you can use to improve your performance. It is

incredibly empowering.. Use this sentence every day as often as you can -

its "I can handle this." You'll find that most of the time you're

absolutely correct.

The Most Powerful Words in the English Language

* Take a look at the letters, brochures or marketing materials you have

sent out or spent vast sums of money producing in the past few months. How

often do you use the words "I", "me","us" or your company name. Nobody

cares about you - they want to know what's in it for them. Increase the

use of the word "you". Most, if not all letters will be improved by

becoming more "you" focussed.

* Your letters and brochures will almost certainly be improved if you

incorporate the following words too; Free, their name, new, discover,

learn, win, benefit from, achieve, get, keep, profit from, thank you.

* Advertising copywriters, sales people and the most effective

communicators have learned through painstakingly testing the response

rates of their material that these words provoke the highest responses to

advertising.

* Stroke Don't Poke - An idea from "Straight Talk for Monday Morning" by

Allan Cox. He describes positive and negative feedback as 'pokes and

strokes'. In this book he quotes research by Dr Mark Tager that the ratio

of pokes to strokes is 4:1 on average. What's your average do you think?

Your ability to communicate is greatly undermined with each negative

comment you make as it is far more powerful than any positive one. The

brain seems to lend far more weight to negative stimulation than to

positive stimulation. Even if you dish out 'only' 4 'pokes' to each

'stroke', the damage is far greater because those on the receiving end

could easily perceive the ratio as 15 or 20:1. 'Stroke' more. This is a

verbal thing!

Special Subscriber Offers

* Personally signed copies of the 2nd edition of my book "Your Personal

Survival Guide to the 21st Century" are available to newsletter

subscribers (booking form at www.RoySpeaks.com/booking.htm ). This book

could be a perfect present in the lead up to the new millennium. Provide

their name and I'll write a personal message inside the book in time for

Christmas. And for newsletter subscribers there is free postage and

packing to any address in the world (Amazon won't do that!)

* London, evening 19th October - Public "Network to Win" talk to launch my

new 4 part audio programme. Tapes included in the seminar price. More

details at www.RoySpeaks.com/London.htm Thank you to sponsors Arthur

Andersen, IBM and Willis for their support.

Future Issues

* If you would like a particular communication topic to be included - send

an email to topic@RoySpeaks.com

* Positive or negative feedback to feedback@RoySpeaks.com

* Contributions to contribute@RoySpeaks.com sadly there's no fee but you

will be credited at the end of the article. I reserve the right to refuse

and/or edit any submissions. Jokes also welcome - the best will be

uploaded to my website.

* Please forward this newsletter to those in your email address book who

you think might like to receive it. To subscribe Newsletter@RoySpeaks.com

* If you do not want to receive it in the future (!!) Remove@RoySpeaks.com

* I promise that the names and email addresses of subscribers will never

be passed on to anyone else.

Thank You Department

* I'd like to thank the following people for their help and guidance and

for their referrals. To Melissa Gallagher for recommending me as a keynote

speaker at a recent Arthur Andersen conference near Chicago (my first

keynote speaking engagement in the States). Marie Mosely for putting me

forward for a job in Paris. Jeremy Lee of JLA for securing a 3 day London

conference as a moderator. To John Cresser Brown for passing my details on

to a colleague in the US and for the subsequent one day booking moderating

a high level event with 15 European professors in Warsaw, Indiana. And

finally, thank you to Frankie my wife and my business manager Mike Burch

for their help and ongoing support.

All the best for now

Roy Sheppard

My website address is www.RoySpeaks.com

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