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IntraPersonal skill-builder series
Why not ask?
QUESTIONS CAN BE A POWERFUL STRATEGY

Situation: You didn't ask

What are a few questions that you wish people would ask you? Think about it: Haven't you had situations arise where you sat there just hoping someone would ask you about your vacation, how you were feeling, how your job was going, or what you were most proud of that week? Or the meeting where you felt a question in the air, but no one asked it? And haven't you been in situations where you really wanted to ask someone a question (or maybe several) to learn more about the person or a situation, not to gossip, but out of genuine interest or a sincere desire to make a real connection?

We've all had encounters like these, or situations where, afterwards, we thought, "Oh, I wish I had asked that question" or when someone else might have said, "Gosh, I didn't know that was going on with you," and you thought, "Well, no one asked."

Tip: Ask a question (or several)!

Mohandas Gandhi reminded us to be the change we wish to see in the world, so that's what we'll do here! Because we know what it feels like to want to be asked questions (and be given the opportunity to share things that are important to us), we'll extend this wonderful opportunity to someone else.

Our ground-rules are simple:

• Be respectful of others (in our voicetone, word choice and body language, and in respecting others' privacy)
• We'll offer others an opportunity to choose not to answer our questions, or we'll choose questions that are general. For example, we might begin our conversation by saying, "I'd love to ask you a question, but you can let me know if you'd prefer not to answer it. Is it okay that I ask?")

Let's go back to that original question: What are a few questions you wish people would ask you? Assuming that your list of questions is fit for public consumption, make a point to ask someone else the questions on your list. If your questions are specific to a particular person or situation (e.g. a hobby that you wish someone would ask you about), either commit to asking that particular person a question, or commit to asking someone a more general question (e.g. "What hobbies do you enjoy?" or "How is your wood-working coming along?"). Now, refine your question list and embark on your adventure into inquiry!

For more tips on building your "question-asking" skillfulness, check out our article, "Powerful Questions, Powerful Effects."

Return to IntraPersonal Tips Archive, or the IntraPersonal Mastery Portal.

This information provides food for thought rather than counsel specifically designed to meet the needs of your organization. Please use it mindfully. The most effective leadership or communication plans are those that have been tailored to your unique needs and organizational culture, so don't hesitate to get assistance from a qualified adviser. Have questions? Send us an email.


If you’re interested in more tips on these topics, read these articles on Ivy Sea Online:

IntraPersonal mastery tips

Mindset management tips from the pros

Quality questions foster quality relationships

Twelve tips for smoother conversation

Quick tips for tough discussions

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