You've had those days when you find yourself thinking, "Everyone takes things so personally!" Maybe you were in conversation with someone else and noticed them tense up at something you said, or perhaps they even walked away angry or irritated, leaving you wondering what the problem was. No doubt you've been in the same situation, leaving a discussion having been offended or irritated by something your conversation-mate said.

Tip: Communication is personal, so be aware

On one hand, you've got little control over how well (or unwell) someone else minds his or her mindset. You can't make someone be more relaxed or aware, and you can't lower their flash-point if they're looking for a fight.

Yet there are things you can influence: your own mindset, skillfulness and communication savvy. You can refuse to "take the bait," as it were, or react to something someone else says. By refusing to become embroiled in another's anger or anxst, their frustration might diffuse or they'll have to find their fight elsewhere. Instead of reflecting their tension right back at them, you've chosen to transform or neutralize it.

You can also be more sensitive to your own language choices, including the words you use and the body language you use when delivering your message. Perhaps you appear condescending or abrupt when you speak, giving others the impression that you are the one who's rude or looking for a confrontation.

For the rest of the day (or week, if you're feeling courageous!), notice how you hold your body, including your facial muscles, when you speak. Hear your voice as if listening to someone else. Do you feel or hear tension or tightness that might appear as anger or rudeness to others who aren't in your mind and thus don't know your intention?

Check out some of the articles linked below for more information on skillful intrapersonal communication. Of course, if you feel that your anger or worry is out of control, consult a professional therapist who can help you find the source and suggest therapeutic solutions.

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Five tips for being authentic (but not rude)